Regression and Progression
It's January 17. How are the New Year's resolutions coming?
I'm doing okay. The first 2 weeks of eating better went really well. This week hasn't been super. A lot of that was needing to grocery shop for several days. . . can't eat healthy food if you don't have it! I got that fixed yesterday, and after a little stumble backwards (chocolate cake really should not make up the bulk of a day's nutrition) I'm back on track today.
I get really frustrated sometimes by those periods of faltering. I want to be able to just resolve to do something, starting now, and just DO IT; but things don't work that way! Realistic goals based on moderation, followed by patience with the process of learning is what will work this time, I think.
I'm referring specifically to my healthfulness and weightloss efforts, but generally to my life. Take, for example, parenting. I have a pretty healthy temper, and a daughter that knows exactly where my buttons are, and how to push them. It's not good for either of us when I allow her to do that. Over and over I tell myself I'm not going to yell anymore. I'm not going to get mad. I'm going to look at her face and remember the sweet little baby I gave birth too, and all of our interactions from now on will be sunshine and kittens. But eventually, I'll snap, and I'll yell, and I'll feel bad, and that night I'll lie in bed beating the snot out of myself for being such a bad mom.
So what can change? Can I just be the mom I want to be, starting now, and never go back to that angry woman that I don't want to be? Not really. Change is work. It's a process. If changing just meant making a decision, our path to perfection would be a lot shorter, but our spiritual muscles would atrophy. So, like changing eating habits, I can make a plan. Do my best every day. And on the days I slip up, forgive myself, and try harder the next day.
Still, the slipups are so frustrating.
Alora is trying to learn to crawl. Bless her, she's trying so hard, in spite of having a bad cold and feeling rotten. She works, physically and mentally. You can see the determination on her chubby little face. She gears those muscles up and pushes hard with all the might she can muster. and then she moves backwards. It's so maddening to her. She's trying to get to one place, and ends up on the other side of the room. All I can do is sit and watch, knowing that she's getting stronger, and it's only a matter of time before the right muscles have the strength they need, AND she has the understanding and coordination to head in the direction she's aiming for.
Today I noticed that she started kind of crawling sideways. She was tickled with herself. It wasn't forward, but it wasn't backwards, either. She's getting there. I'll get there, too.
I'm doing okay. The first 2 weeks of eating better went really well. This week hasn't been super. A lot of that was needing to grocery shop for several days. . . can't eat healthy food if you don't have it! I got that fixed yesterday, and after a little stumble backwards (chocolate cake really should not make up the bulk of a day's nutrition) I'm back on track today.
I get really frustrated sometimes by those periods of faltering. I want to be able to just resolve to do something, starting now, and just DO IT; but things don't work that way! Realistic goals based on moderation, followed by patience with the process of learning is what will work this time, I think.
I'm referring specifically to my healthfulness and weightloss efforts, but generally to my life. Take, for example, parenting. I have a pretty healthy temper, and a daughter that knows exactly where my buttons are, and how to push them. It's not good for either of us when I allow her to do that. Over and over I tell myself I'm not going to yell anymore. I'm not going to get mad. I'm going to look at her face and remember the sweet little baby I gave birth too, and all of our interactions from now on will be sunshine and kittens. But eventually, I'll snap, and I'll yell, and I'll feel bad, and that night I'll lie in bed beating the snot out of myself for being such a bad mom.
So what can change? Can I just be the mom I want to be, starting now, and never go back to that angry woman that I don't want to be? Not really. Change is work. It's a process. If changing just meant making a decision, our path to perfection would be a lot shorter, but our spiritual muscles would atrophy. So, like changing eating habits, I can make a plan. Do my best every day. And on the days I slip up, forgive myself, and try harder the next day.
Still, the slipups are so frustrating.
Alora is trying to learn to crawl. Bless her, she's trying so hard, in spite of having a bad cold and feeling rotten. She works, physically and mentally. You can see the determination on her chubby little face. She gears those muscles up and pushes hard with all the might she can muster. and then she moves backwards. It's so maddening to her. She's trying to get to one place, and ends up on the other side of the room. All I can do is sit and watch, knowing that she's getting stronger, and it's only a matter of time before the right muscles have the strength they need, AND she has the understanding and coordination to head in the direction she's aiming for.
Today I noticed that she started kind of crawling sideways. She was tickled with herself. It wasn't forward, but it wasn't backwards, either. She's getting there. I'll get there, too.
posted by The Rummler Family at
12:11 PM
4 Comments:
It is possible to start over and to learn constructive ways to deal with the moment, and not yell or react negatively. What is awesome is that you have the desire to change, and that's the first step. : )
Blessings!
Suzanne Eller
I just love reading your thoughts. I've been feeling frustrated with myself my whole life for those very same reasons. Why can't I just make up my mind to change and change?! I think we all feel that way. Thank you SO much for this post!! I love you!
I ALSO love to read the things that you have to say. It always feels SO good to be eating right, and taking care of yourself, you would think that you would enjoy that feeling so much that you would be able to stick with it. Yet, it seems that it's so easy so slip back into old ways. It's so frustrating to me! I guess the best we can do is to keep trying, and not let our little mistakes become habit! I sure love you!
You are so awesome...I am so proud of you...proud to know you, proud of the woman you have become.....and, feeling horrible about myself at the moment because none of my clothes fit and I gotta start over....but, it'll be ok.....thanks for the encouragement, the insight....you are wise beyond your years.
love ya always....
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