Frog in the mud

be"Years ago when I first received an appointment that resulted in my picture being in the newspapers, one of my high school teachers, evidently quite astonished, was heard to say, “That just proves that you can’t tell by looking at a frog how high he is going to jump!”

The image of that frog, sitting in the mud instead of jumping, illustrates how inadequate I have felt when facing the responsibilities that have come to me.

These feelings fix it so that thereafter one can never feel superior to anyone, not anyone." (Boyd K. Packer, "The Weak and the Simple of the Church, General Conference, October 2007)

For weeks I've been thinking about what I want to make my life. I'm happy with what I've accomplished. I enjoyed working when I was in that time. Now I have three really great little girls. I'm not a perfect mom, but I'm always trying to improve. I have an incredible romance and marriage with my sweetheart. I'm teaching piano, and learning more than I'm teaching, I think.

Those are all things I've done. But I've been thinking about who I'm supposed to be. Who Heavenly Father wants me to be. Now, of course we become by doing. . . but first we determine who we want to become, and set that goal in our hearts.

I went to bed last night with a very heavy heart. So many people I know and care about are struggling. For some reason, right now I'm feeling really aware of the heartaches and trials of the people around me, and they're weighing on me. I was feeling very small and helpless to change the hurt around me. As it is, I'm having a hard time keeping up with my own stuff.

My own stuff. . . we all have our issues, don't we? Those dark little corners in our hearts where we lick our wounds and revisit old pain. Who has the energy to deal with anything beyond our own issues? Maybe when I'm feeling healed and whole, then I can reach out and help. . .

But I remember years ago when I was having a really, really hard time in my life. I was very inwardly focused, centered in on my own heartache. My sweet mom told me several times, "Lose yourself in service." I kind of rolled my eyes (when she couldn't see me) and thought it was one of those mom catch phrases that mothers throw around when they don't know what else to say.

She was so right.

We are called upon to bear each others' burdens, mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort. I don't think that that is only for the benefit for the ones we're serving. There his healing in comforting others, growth in mourning together.

There is Becoming in bearing one anothers' burdens.

So last night when I read about that frog in the mud, I thought about myself. I could wallow in my own mud, thinking of how pointless it would be to try to jump out of it, focusing on all of the cold, sticky mess around me. Or I could do my best to find the most steady ground I can and see just how high I can jump. Keep trying, strengthen my muscles, and maybe as I leap forward, I'll find better ground under my feet. That doesn't happen if you just stay where you are, does it?

This morning, I'm going to see how high and how far I can leap.