God be with you til we meet again.

President Hinckley is likely having a wonderful reunion with his sweet wife and friends. I'm happy for him, but so sad for us. I never met him, but I have loved him so much.

Regression and Progression

It's January 17. How are the New Year's resolutions coming?

I'm doing okay. The first 2 weeks of eating better went really well. This week hasn't been super. A lot of that was needing to grocery shop for several days. . . can't eat healthy food if you don't have it! I got that fixed yesterday, and after a little stumble backwards (chocolate cake really should not make up the bulk of a day's nutrition) I'm back on track today.

I get really frustrated sometimes by those periods of faltering. I want to be able to just resolve to do something, starting now, and just DO IT; but things don't work that way! Realistic goals based on moderation, followed by patience with the process of learning is what will work this time, I think.

I'm referring specifically to my healthfulness and weightloss efforts, but generally to my life. Take, for example, parenting. I have a pretty healthy temper, and a daughter that knows exactly where my buttons are, and how to push them. It's not good for either of us when I allow her to do that. Over and over I tell myself I'm not going to yell anymore. I'm not going to get mad. I'm going to look at her face and remember the sweet little baby I gave birth too, and all of our interactions from now on will be sunshine and kittens. But eventually, I'll snap, and I'll yell, and I'll feel bad, and that night I'll lie in bed beating the snot out of myself for being such a bad mom.

So what can change? Can I just be the mom I want to be, starting now, and never go back to that angry woman that I don't want to be? Not really. Change is work. It's a process. If changing just meant making a decision, our path to perfection would be a lot shorter, but our spiritual muscles would atrophy. So, like changing eating habits, I can make a plan. Do my best every day. And on the days I slip up, forgive myself, and try harder the next day.

Still, the slipups are so frustrating.

Alora is trying to learn to crawl. Bless her, she's trying so hard, in spite of having a bad cold and feeling rotten. She works, physically and mentally. You can see the determination on her chubby little face. She gears those muscles up and pushes hard with all the might she can muster. and then she moves backwards. It's so maddening to her. She's trying to get to one place, and ends up on the other side of the room. All I can do is sit and watch, knowing that she's getting stronger, and it's only a matter of time before the right muscles have the strength they need, AND she has the understanding and coordination to head in the direction she's aiming for.

Today I noticed that she started kind of crawling sideways. She was tickled with herself. It wasn't forward, but it wasn't backwards, either. She's getting there. I'll get there, too.

Time flies

December was crazy. Our house is fixed for the most part. There is some finishing work to be done, but overall things are back to normal. December highlights:

Anna is 3! She wanted a rubber ducky birthday party, and only wanted her friend Deven. So we had a little party at home with the family, Deven, and Grandma and Grandpa Rummler stopped by. I was pretty proud of the cake I made her, which I can't find a picture of now. . . but imagine a mama duck and 3 baby ducks (which were candles- so cute!) in a bubble bath. Anna got some GeoTrax train stuff from Deven, which has started a love affair with trains. In fact we exchanged some of the Christmas presents we had hiding in the closet for more GeoTrax, and got some hand-me-down tracks from John and Becky. It's been lots of fun for all of us!

Grandma got married! It's never too late for companionship. She married But Hiatt On December 18. Grandma is 90 and Bud is 91. He writes and recites wonderful poetry. At the wedding he shared one he wrote a couple of years ago, that ending with something like, ". . . and meet a lady, willing and bold/Who doesn't think that 90's too old." Too cute. When they were trying to get up to say their vows, he said to Grandma, "You hold me up, and I'll hold you up." Good marriage advice whether you're 19 or 90, I think.


Christmas was fantastic. We had a crazy, chaotic, fun party at Melody's house. All 60-ish of us. Soup, white elephant gifts, kid craziness upstairs. . . it was a good time. I wonder if anyone will be brave enough to host this year! Christmas Day was so much fun. Abby and Anna were both SO excited. We had spent New Years' Eve at Matt's parents', decorating gingerbread houses, watching Elf, and eating an AMAZING turkey dinner that Mark made. They wanted to go right to bed when we got home (this is a miracle. . . nighttime at our house is, well, awful most of the time). Christmas morning was lots of fun. Matt's parents came over for brunch, then we spent the rest of the day with my mom and dad, Grandma and Bud, and Lynda's family. It was such a great day.

New we're at the start of a new year. I'm eating better and feeling better. I'm cutting out most sugar and white flour. This week I'm going to look at a gym membership. I'm determined to get healthier this year. Family history isn't great as far as health is concerned, and while I've never been thin, I've gradually acquired more poundage with each baby. So I hope to take some of that off and just get healthy and active. We want to take up hiking and biking again this Spring, hopefully take a couple of road trips to visit family and maybe make some fun stops along the way.

Health and happiness and a wonderful 2008 to you all!