In a slump

Maybe it's the winter "blah's". Maybe it's cabin fever. I think that's probably part of it. But I've also been thinking a lot about my sister Melody's insights on her blog, in her "Closed for Restoration" posts. I let people into my life that bring with them a lot of drama and negative energy. I get caught up in it to the point that other people, who enrich my life and invigorate my spirit, don't have room. I want to change that. . . but without becoming closed-off or unavailable to those who need me. It's always been a really tough balance for me, which is why I attract those kinds of people, I think.

So instead of balancing things, I've kind of shut down, and now I find myself in a full-blown slump. I like something I read this morning:

"I remember hearing once a great analogy about the Dead Sea. I probably won't be able to put it quite so eloquantly as I heard it.... but the basics were that the Dead Sea is "dead" because it does not give,.... it only recieves. Because of that... all the salt comes in, etc. and remains and builds up, to the point that nothing living can reside there... no life... if there were water flowing out....and the sea were giving,.... , it would wash away the residue that resides, and life would be possible. It is the same in our lives. Lots of times when I feel in that slump.... I pray that doors will be opened so that I can make a difference in someone's life. Usually just little small ways,.... and its amazing.... a door ALWAYS does open, and yet often I feel that it has helped me just as much, sometimes more."



Serving and giving is important. I want to keep that. But not at the expense of my own well-being. Any thoughts?

What we're listening to

Matt's current favorite album is "Big Beautiful Sky", by Venus Hum, found here: http://www.amazon.com/Big-Beautiful-Sky-Venus-Hum/dp/B00008QSCG/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1201993063&sr=8-2 .

[rant] The music industry is broken. They're worried about how to micromanage the sale of mp3's and even the use of the CD's we buy. . . for instance, our van won't play certain kinds of CD's because of some stupid rule about not being able to play music THAT YOU OWN in multiple places. Instead they should be looking for all the really, really good music out there, instead of manufactured pop princesses and all of that business. Take Venus Hum, for instance, or Freezepop or Eva Cassidy for crying out loud. Why are we tortured with the likes of Kevin Federline and his ex, now that you mention it, or the latest mediocre winner of American Idol, when there is SO MUCH GOOD MUSIC out there fading into obscurity because some stupid executive doesn't think it's marketable enough? So props to pandora.com for helping us find some of these great, but buried artists, and filling in the gaps where public radio and the mainstream recording industry has failed miserably. [/rant]

Ahem. Excuse me.


Abigail and Anna are constantly listening to their Grandpa and Grandma CD. Matt's parents did the coolest thing for Christmas. They recorded themselves reading many of their favorite childrens' books and poems, like selections from Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic, and Dr. Suess books, and many others great ones. Matt remembers when he was little, and his dad would sit out in the hallway outside of their bedrooms reading books to them. So it's really cool to me that the girls go to sleep many nights listening to their grandparents reading stories. It's Abby's favorite way to unwind during the day, too. She'll sometimes close herself up in her room and quietly play or draw while she listens (if you know Abby, you know how miraculous this is).

As for me, I've had an ongoing obsession with John Mayer's music. I'm no expert, just a piano teacher with a huge love of all things musical, but it's almost exhilerating to listen to the progression and growth of his writing and performing. The guy is a poet, no bones about it, as well as a dang good vocalist and he's becoming and absolutely amazing guitarist. I got the "Continuum" CD for my birthday, and I think I've about worn it out.

My favorite song off of that CD is "Stop This Train". It reminds me not to rush through this time in my life, even though I tend to do that. . . looking forward to and hoping for the next thing, when what I have now is so precious. I'll close this post out with the lyrics:

"Stop This Train"
by John Mayer
No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white

I try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
I don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young

So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight,
"You'll renegotitate

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in a while, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Til you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing
Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train